Adjure

- The Seasons Of Grief: Chapter V - Poem X -

I see you in distress, with him trembling,

Hugging each other to keep from disassembling

I smile, but the weight is cruel and grim,

It only took fifty fleeting minutes

To pack the life I’d lived within it,

Leaving the love discarded on a whim

I’ve seen this battle before,

And I can’t relive another war

You’re not my family anymore,

So what am I still fighting for?

You were my heart, my burning pyre,

Now I adjure, trudged and tired,

I’ve lost this battle before

I’m handing you my key to the front door

I see your eyes accusing,

Cold and sharp, the truth eluding

Like I was never worth the cost you paid,

I gave you my plea unending

But your silence was stern and unbending,

Showed me that hate was all the ground you laid

I know I’ve felt this pain arise,

I can’t defend all my lies

I’m not your shadow to despise,

Why am I still bound by our monetary ties?

You were my shield, my one desire,

Now I adjure, the bond must expire,

I’m feeling this pain arise

Now I’m closing my tearful eyes

So I speak, give me a reason,

A way to stay through every season

No words come, just anger’s roar,

I can’t come home anymore

You didn’t hear me cry,

I gave my soul to try

You let the bridges burn,

So I’d never return

I’ve waited, begged, endured this life,

You never saw the signs

This hate can’t bend to time

You see my steps retreating,

A life to live unloved is so defeating

I’ll bear the loneliness I bestowed,

The bond is breaking

Your loathing, my loathing, fierce and unshaking,

Gives me the courage to walk the road

You were my refuge, my great aspire,

Now I adjure,  my heart retired,

I’ve never felt this way before

So I’m screaming for you to love me more

You never could hear my pleas,

So I broke my soul for free

We struck the match and turned,

Into a nuclear bomb and watched it burn

I stood there in the ash alone,

You never saw what I went through to sustain,

This love can’t bloom in disdain

You never even heard me scream,

I tore apart at the seams

I crumbled down,

But still wore my rusted crown

I held the pieces of my heart,

You never saw it break

The hate that changed me was the love you wanted to take

All I ever did was shatter,

My voice no longer mattered

You left me in the dark,

I snuffed out every spark

I gave my life to find another,

Would you have cared if I died?

This void between us is finally saying goodbye

Now I adjure,

Because my belief in what we could be,

Has died, and is no more