Anger

- The Seasons Of Grief: Chapter II - Poem XII -

A kingdom of destruction lay upon my wilted Sundays of noon light,

The sky turns a shade of crimson that mimics blood

Crosses align my neck like barbed wire that bites,

My tears are no longer fresh, they’re one with the mud

The air hung thick with a thunderous pulse,

All the residents blamed me for their homes going up in flames

They bashed and berated my soft skull,

Until all that was left was a tarnished family name

I jumped headfirst into the currents and sank under the weight of my woes,

Even the marina receded at the presence of my wake

I swam east to a lake house to try and portray myself as something of a hero,

But no one needed a savior, and that made me break

I sat in running cars, the exhaust blowing in tune with my cries,

Reaching uncomfortably I allowed the twisted machinery of the interior to press

Afternoons on end, the wallows would be so loud, even death would consider how I died,

I revolted to my childlike self, having outburst when I was given anything less

Between the echoes of instant pain were the slow burns of panic,

Jumps of distain that’d cut deeper than the times I considered ending it all

I thank God that he loves me enough to come over and stay with me through the manic,

But the way that the afterglow felt, makes me feel like I didn’t survive the skyscraper’s fall

Evening lightning masked the nights I spent alone,

It struck the sand and turned it into glass shards, impaling my skin

I sometimes remember the stay at the hotel where my air conditioner was nothing but a drone,

The cold showers never help soothe the wounds with malignant infection

I tried to swallow the sun, but realized I can’t take something I never owned,

The shine of the lighthouse always light my way toward my second apartment

Everything that happened in July will stay with me until the rot of my bones,

The waves of longing won’t reach me until I shed my previous garments

I close this chapter, with the end of summer and the stage of anger