Betwixt

- Betwixt: Phase III - Poem X -

You promised me we’d be together for all time,

From writing songs to watching movies that were mine

But one day out of the blue, you said to me,

You needed a break, so I let you free

A fortnight passed, and you made up your mind,

You didn’t want me anymore, and I felt like I just saw the scene of a crime

A week and a half later, I’m sitting here pretending I’m fine,

I’m left here wondering if it was all just a waste of time

I question every word you’ve ever said,

Talking marriage, kids, what you would do if I wound up dead

Now I picture you in a different light,

I haven’t seen you in a month, your face has become less right

The worst part is you know I deserved more,

A conversation, a call, a talk, was it that much of a chore?

I never know what’s going on in your mind now,

So I just sit in the betwixt of life, wondering if my smile will ever return from this frown

We had great times, you and I,

The sex, the parties, the family meetups at night

Does your brother ever ask what happened to me?

You moved out of the space where we once called home

You’ll try to forget, but the walls still remember this, I know,

A part of me still waits for you to come back, my life feels different

I’m like a dog begging for atonement,

For now, I’ll heal myself and hope one day that you may make amends with me

I’m confused, unwound, and unsteady,

But if you come back, I’ll be ready

I don’t want this to be the end of our story,

I still want a life with you, even when we’re both forty

I’ll be in the betwixt until then,

Until I see you again, my lover, my best friend