Blue Hour

- The Seasons Of Grief: Chapter IV - Poem III -

I say, “I can’t do it anymore”, he hears the words like whispers in snowstorms,

He says, “Why not reshape the snow when it melts and deforms?”

On all nights, he paces, lost in the echoes of what could be,

Falling beneath the bitter cold of gravity’s decree

We call, both our voices trembling, “Just checking if you’re still there,”

At 3 AM, I’m pacing in circles, heart laid out all bare

“It’s not forever,” he swears, his eyes a thawed-out frozen sea,

You beg me to believe in the warmth you’ve always had for me

“How could I have not been there when the frost bit him?”

All this time, his cracks let the winter in

I’d shatter like glass if he were to fade,

He’s too young, too young to see how the seasons can trade

I’ll be the fire that melts his despair,

The frozen blue hour, melting from summer’s air

He wears a mask, and only I know the fragile lyrics between the songs,

When night falls, his silence grows quite long

I pull at his red threads, stitching the wounds that I can’t see,

I’m always afraid that the snow will bury him—and bury me

How can I fix and mend his hurt and blue, dark heart?

Ice spreading deep into the cracks of his tortured art

I’d fall to my knees, shattered and torn,

If the blizzard consumed him, leaving me forlorn 

I’ll burn like the sun, relentless and true,

A blazing fire to always thaw the winter that he’s going through

I call, desperate, times hanging as heavy as his head,

At 5 AM, he’s awake, anxiety pacing, and fearing dread

I tell him, I’m begging—please don’t leave me behind,

The beckoning blue hour, forcing him and telling him to resign 

If I could stand in his storm, I’d take his pain apart,

Disarm the frost-tipped bomb that lives within his heart

I’d whisper, “Even in darkness, I’ll stay by your side,”

You’re not alone in this; we’ll survive this tide

If I could stand in your storm, I’d let it rage through me,

I’d pull the blade from your thoughts and set your mind free

I’d tell him ,“Even at your darkest, you’ll always be mine,

Your frost can’t kill the fire; I’ll forever keep it alive.”

How could I have missed the cold weathering him down?

If he slipped away, my warmth would drown

I’ll be the fire, relentless and undying,

Melting the ice, catching him as he’s crying

Summer will linger, I’ll always hold him near,

The blue hour ends when love is clear 

I press my hands against his ice-cold frame,

I swear to you, you’ll never feel this shame

“Believe in our truth,” I whisper low,

“I’ll be the forever warmth, that thaws your blue hour snow.”