Chemical Hearts

- Betwixt: Phase I - Poem VI -

I count the days,

That we can return to our lavender haze

You said you’d grow, then come back to me,

It’s lonely here at sea

You said you needed time to mend,

To find the cracks, to emotionally transcend

I see your strength, your fight,

But I still miss you next to me each night

My bed is cold, the lights are dim,

I wear your clothes, I pray to him

I talk to silence, I cry to the doubt,

I dream of you when the lights go out

I’m proud of you for taking the road, so long,

You’re gonna make it and grow strong

But healing has its cost,

And mine will be all the time we’ve lost

You promised me it’s not goodbye,

We sat on the couch, you and I

I wish I’d held on longer,

If I knew it’d be the last time

Not hearing about your work kills me,

I cherish the little things, like how funny we used to be

I miss your laughs, your eyes of stars,

I’ve already drawn them in our memoir

But my table is bare, the chairs have no trace,

When I eat dinner, you're in my grace

I pace my room, I cry on the floor,

While looking at our photos, we took in 2024

And I can’t say it to you now, so I’ll say it to you here,

Forgive me for my pitfalls, my mistakes of fear

I know things have been rough, but I want to stand,

You’ve taught me to be a better man

My blood is tainted, this I’ve come to know,

They don’t define us, we don’t stoop to their lows

I miss your hair and eyes most at night,

When I wake, I think of breakfast together and movies in the moonlight

I cry myself to sleep over the picture of us,

Are you thinking of me? Do you still see our love?

So please come back soon, I don’t want to be free,

I want us to be united in holy matrimony

Two chemical hearts beating as one,

Don’t let our love story become undone