Equinox

- The Seasons Of Grief: Chapter V - Poem III -

“Hurry, come quick”

Meet me at the big oak tree,

We can pretend to be pirates and set the sharks free

At least, that’s how I think it all went inside my mind,

I’m too busy balancing ledgers and measuring time

I worry about everything all day long,

People passing by don’t care to ask what’s wrong

And that makes me feel like I wanna die,

When the tears don’t make the others cry

So if the day is too long, and I come home to an empty place,

I’ll build a castle out of bricks, I’ll trace

So I’ll shift the poles, rewrite the clocks,

Trade day for night—call it an equinox

I run through my fields of flowers frozen in sublime,

Where no one can find me, not even in my prime

I picture it like the books I flipped through as a child,

Where ladybugs had eyes, and elephants were wild

There were no bad guys in pressed-up suits,

Just me and my sister, eating pretend fruits

I’ll switch the poles of an equinox, an equilibrium reversed,

So I can relive my days before I was cursed

My friends once asked me, “Truth or dare?”

Pay the price or risk the fare

I chose truth before I knew what it was,

They’d ask me the same question just ‘cause

They expected me to know everything at fifteen,

When the lies were real and the days were dreams

I’d leave the party, and everyone would cheer in my absence,

I’d go home to my bed, and think of better friends

So I’ll shift the poles, rewrite the clocks,

Trade fire for frost—call it an equinox

I run with pockets of stars and powers of telepathy,

Where everyone and everything is written for me

I picture it like the games I played as a child,

Where plumbers ate mushrooms, and talking starfish went wild

There were no bad men behind cold office desks,

Just me and my sister, making a mess

I’ll switch the poles of an equinox, an equilibrium reversed,

So I can relive my days before I was cursed

I’m lonely here, but I’ll make it through,

I’ll be stubborn, but I’ll make do

I’ll keep all my love and all my light,

Locked tight inside my mind, if that’s alright

I’m only gonna give it to those who deserve,

Everything that's given and all that’s earned

These flashing dreams of petulance,

Please give me the courage to brave these barren lands

So I’ll shift the poles, rewrite the clocks,

Trade dusk for dawn—call it an equinox

I love who I want and create what I am,

Where all is great and lessons are learned in ways so grand 

I pictured it like the days when the art teachers would teach,

Where race cars were beds, and planets were in reach 

There was no bad blood between family members of the same descent,

Just me and my sister, eating day-old thin mints

I’ll switch the poles of an equinox, an equilibrium reversed,

So I can relive my days before I was cursed