Eulogy

- Rift: Part II - Poem XIII -

I stand here now, the coffin’s yours,

Not in flesh, but in the love you tore

I bring my flowers, black and dead,

To lay them on the words I never said

I missed your birthday, twenty-two,

I knew the pain it’d carve in you

I kept my phone face down,

When texting men from out of town

I swore I’d never call the page mine,

But I lied beneath that brittle line

I broke us up with just a text,

Then ran to lust, my very next

I said “a break,” but in my head,

Our ending had long since said

I promised I would see you still,

Then ghosted you; broke our will

I never sat in therapy’s chair,

Too cowardly to face what’s rotting there

I knew my sins, yet wore them proud,

And hid them in my friendly laughing crowd

I posted joy, laughs, and smiles,

While you still staggered, hurt, and beguiled

I sang along to Taylor’s pain,

While doing what her men had done again

I stayed a stranger, cold, apart,

And never worked to mend your heart

I crossed the lines you drew in trust,

And crushed the promises to dust

I told you, “you’re too much” to bear,

While taking all you chose to share

I drained you dry then let you go,

And claimed I love you, God, I know

I broke the boy who called me “mine,”

Then shattered what was left in time

I held the match, I struck the flame,

And built a pyre out of your name

It’s the grave I dug for you to see,

I crossed the lines you begged of me

I broke the vows I swore each night,

I dimmed your glow to keep my light

I told you it’s too much to hold,

Then left you alone in the cold

I made your love a game to play,

Then threw the winning hand away

I traded truth for easy lies,

And watched the tears in your green eyes

I mocked the dreams you tried to grow,

I let resentment overflow

I used your trust to serve my sin,

I burned the bridge you built me in

I let you beg, then turned my head,

I kissed the ghosts of men instead

I wore your soul like some disguise,

Then fed it to my alibi 

I left you weaker than you came,

And never once confessed my shame

I made your worth feel paper-thin,

And shut you out and let them in

I took your love and your youth,

And buried every shred of truth

I knew the damage I could give,

Yet I still chose this way to live

I broke your heart, your trust, your name,

And left you reeling, never the same

Here’s my confession, raw and true,

I’m the smallest man you ever knew

And through my hands still reach for sin,

This eulogy is the grave I’m stuck in