Family Tree
- Betwixt: Phase I - Poem VII -
Our blazing fire, now ashes that’ve gone,
What we built in the dusk was unraveled by dawn
Summer once shimmered, now it’s cold and austere,
Did I lack the resolve to draw you near?
Though I can’t lie,
I know that my brother has been gone for quite some time
But with you, I would’ve gained one,
And we’d both share the same name of Jackson
Yet I still burn a fierce little flame,
For I’ll always love you and give up my name
On that Thursday when oceans wept in a thunderous hue,
The fire enveloped the family tree that I planted for you
I thought love was pageantry—cheap and displayed,
But you showed me, the right one would stay
I died in the silence that only you see,
Where that devil lurked in the simplest pleas
You, with your honor, and virtue so grand,
I fell for it all, I fell hard, and I didn’t land
You’ll bedazzle your car while I paint our dreamscapes on my walls,
I just tried a new drink, and it reminded me of our friends and all
I see your mother’s eyes when she smiles,
Felt chosen when your sister called me “wild”
The casserole talks, the snow-covered family trees,
I still picture those holidays between you and me
But I wonder, at Thanksgiving, will your father ask freely,
What became of me?
Will your brother, now older, recall how much we danced?
Do I live in their stories, or do I come up during faded conversations by chance?
You know I would’ve died with you, for you, through every fight,
Stayed with you in the trenches, and kissed you goodnight
I would’ve given you a ring, and later, a child,
I planned to propose over a film date in a place with manners so mild
After it all, though, I went westward, you took the freeway east,
I’ll still give you my best, my chaos, my pleas
The rain will always follow where I stand,
But I’ll hold up an umbrella for you, my man
Am I just a name now that you try to release?
A man who loved too hard, but wasn’t able to give you peace
Please tell me, if someday you talk to me,
Can I still be a part of your family tree?
