January

- The Seasons Of Grief: Chapter IV - Poem II -

You said it in a calm way,

“I wish I could, but the snow’s in the way,”

It fell thick between our hands, too high to climb,

The flight was gone, the roads had closed,

The cold had won; the winds had froze,

And still, I believed you’d be here

I told myself, “Don’t be obscene,”

But I still replay the in-between,

Of the empty chair where you were supposed to be

Now this is when the silence sinks in,

I miss you so much, it’s killing me quick,

In January

I know you’re stuck on the other side of the ferry,

But I can’t believe how cold it feels in the aerie,

In January

I set the table, light a spark,

Wrapped the streamers around the room, too dark,

Sipped Moscato, let the hours wash away,

I listened to the song, the love texts you sent,

But what I wanted, what I meant,

It was not a song, but for you to just stay

The candles burned, the night grew long,

And I was left to hum along,

To the melodies, I wish you’d sing with me

Now this is when the crying kicks in,

I miss you so much, it’s killing me quick,

In January

I know you’re working, but please, just come over, put on your Burberry,

Without you, God, it feels so scary,

In January

This is really how twenty-two years of my life start?

This is blowing out the flames with no one there to say,

“Happy Birthday,” but all I wished for was you

Now I eat my cake alone,

I don’t want to miss you like this, it’s not enough over the phone

I know it’s out of our control, but I wanted you here badly,

The air out here is cold,

In January