Kin

- The Seasons Of Grief: Chapter V - Poem IV -

I once knew a boy who took the long way home,

He had a backpack full of colored pencils and sketches of big dreams

Every night, he’d turn on his starlight next to his bedside table,

And try to think of his unattainable dreams

He pressed his hands and feet,

Onto a concrete slab behind his backyard

He ran through the grass, blowing bubbles with his sister,

Every time, he felt like he could soar so far

Years later, he’s listened to Mt. Washington on repeat,

He made some friends who would soon betray his trust

And after school days, he’d cry in his mom’s backseat,

The light next to his bed had turned into a mid-century modern lamp,

He’d fall asleep listening to the saddest songs

Soon, he was dragged away from all he knew,

A diploma in hand, but nothing to show or prove

On his birthday, no one was invited because no invitations were made,

He got a job at a movie theatre to make a little money

Soon, he’d quit because he couldn’t stand the corporate dreams’ fade,

He moved out of his parents’ place soon after, with love and no one to share it with

Present day, he’s lost all he once knew,

His friends, his family, and the Christian church-goers

He gained someone he waited twenty-one years for, but traded it all for things he worked through,

They both made big plans to start a family one day,

Move from the Texas heat to Washington pine trees and frost-laden flowers

One day in the future, everything changed,

And the two were living well off

A house within a suburban neighborhood,

Trees lined with mildew

His feelings didn’t dictate the house’s mood,

And his anger wasn’t something askew

He can’t help but wonder if they’re doing okay,

It’s been five years since he stopped trying to call

He still thinks how shameful it is that everything crumbled down and lay,

Because of a choice that wasn’t made for his inevitable fall

Now he focuses on his kids and their blooming lives,

His son has beautiful brown hair and eyes that swim with dark curiosity

He’s vowed never to diminish his feelings and youthful cries,

Slow to anger, he is, as he promised to limit his childhood recalls ferociously

A daughter was born just like his sister,

She loves to explore and is bold and stubborn with the preschool boys

Sometimes he thinks about how much he misses her,

He wonders if she’d be proud, wherever she is, inside the white noise 

One day he recalls,

Everything he went through and everything he lost

And he questions if it was all worth it, just to see a reflection of his values turned better,

In his children, he sees, maybe it was for the better

In his next of kin, he knows,

Everything will start anew, and a new tree will grow

And his children’s children will tell the stories of all that he sacrificed,

And became the family’s new zeitgeist