May

- Rift: Part II - Poem XII -

I told you we needed a break in May,

My voice was shaking, my eyes untrue

But I slipped from your arms and lost my way,

Into someone I never meant to pursue

The air was thick with the jasmine bloom,

I said I was walking, just to get a clear head

But guilt shadowed me deep in that apartment room,

Where I traded our vows for a stranger’s bed

Are you married yet, or just another marionette?

Dancing to strings that I’ll never know

I wonder if sometimes you regret,

The heart you gave me so long ago

I kept my hood low, I walked unseen,

Snapping you in a veiled disguise

I polished my lies till they looked pristine,

But nothing could quiet the wreck in my eyes

It started with glances, the flicker, the fire,

Similar to the one I built for you to survive

I mistook his attention for true desire,

But May was the month I buried us alive

Now silence follows where laughter stayed,

The colors we painted have turned to gray

And all I recall is the mess I made,

A thousand apologies, I can’t convey

Your name still echoes when the lights grow dim,

And this shame burns sharper than any fight

For every secret that led me to him,

It was a nail in the coffin I carved that night

Don’t call me, saying that you’re filled with fear,

I don’t deserve the sound of your voice

You trusted in me, and I brought us here,

Pretending betrayal was never a choice

The roads I took were paved in lies,

The promised escape but demanded you at the cost

Each meeting is a mirror where truth just dies,

A million little times, our love was lost

And May returns like a haunting rhythm,

A season that withers what should have grown

For I ruined myself in the arms of him,

And left you standing, abandoned, alone

Are you married yet, or just another marionette?

Bound to a life that I’ll never touch?

I carry the weight of what I regret,

You once loved me, perhaps too much

So if I could go back to the start of May,

I’d hold you tighter, I’d beg to stay

But the truth is, I shattered what we were then,

And I can’t resurrect what won’t love again