November

- Rift: Part I - Poem XII -

I saw you first since late May, beneath the gray November moon,

Your eyes still cast that cat-like amaranthine glow, before your lies had bloomed 

You spoke like time had healed, like we weren’t buried in mounds of gloom,

But all I saw was a hollow room

You used to be my morning light, now all you bring is sleepless nights,

I held you close through every gripe, until you vanished out of sight

You fed me truths that weren’t right; I begged for warmth, but you gave me spite,

And still I smiled, pretending everything was alright

Geoff asks me if I’m doing well, and I fake a grin, too numb to tell,

The things I never dared to yell now echo in my private hell

I reached for you, but you’d fallen back to the online lies you used to sell,

Part of me still breaks under your spell and misses you despite the quell

I don’t know who I am anymore, a ghost behind a locked door,

A name you knew, a heart you bore, now a love you can’t quite restore

But seeing you for the first time, it shook me to my core,

I thought you’d never be the one to wear a mask that hurt me more

Yet here I am, in colder air at 151 coffee, pretending I don’t care,

The months went by for me with no repair, just space and hollow stares

I wish I could not compare the you I loved with who is there,

But truth is cruel and it’s unfair, November came and you’re still here