Suburbia

- Betwixt: Phase I - Poem VIII -

In Suburbia, where quiet dreams once swelled,

We charted out the life we thought we’d held

A porch light on, a crib upstairs overlooking the lawn,

Two mugs, one kiss, a dewey morning from dusk to dawn

But now I walk the neighborhoods alone,

Still whispering to the ghosts that were supposed to grow

You said it’s a break, not quite the end of the line,

It was so harsh, it split my heart from my spine

We drafted futures in a bold ballet,

Each step rehearsed, then tripped away

Your voice once brimmed with vows and firelight,

Now it flickers into the depths of my nights

We spoke of rings, of names we’d give a child,

Of fireplace tales and Sunday mornings mild

You were the architect of every plan,

Now it’s silence where there used to be a man

I search my halls of our imagined home,

Every door leads deeper into the unknown

You promised permanence with every cry,

Now I’m learning how to say goodbye

You take down your photos of me and you,

And silence me on your phone so I don’t bother you

I clutch every word like prayers unreconciled,

Half-hope, half-life, still soft, still undefined

We once believed that love could not be stalled,

Those breaks were just the breath before the fall

But all this waiting births a second grief,

Not death, but absence dressed in disbelief

How do you mourn what’s maybe gone?

A future stored, but not withdrawn

In suburbia with fences so white,

Did you take off the ring that I gave you on that October night?

Our cul-de-sac might-have-beens still stand,

With phantom kisses cupped in ghastly hands

And if you call, what else is there to say?

Was our love real? Can it bear this delay?

I sit here and stare through the windowpanes,

At driveways washed by November rains

The garden that we never got to sow,

Still blooms in me, will you outgrow?

And every day I just try to survive,

The most amazing person who made me feel alive

You’re the love of my life, I swear to you,

Can you say the same? Tell me the truth

For someone’s ache, do you hurt like I hurt?

Does my presence follow you where you lurk?

If you come with more truths where I lie at night,

I’ll know the cost of love that says goodbye

And if you don’t, I’ll still know it was real,

The suburbia we built, the love we feel