The Dark Room

- Betwixt: Phase I - Poem IX -

I had a thought,

That I left the world behind,

A leap from a bridge, I felt so confined,

I never found the peace I hoped to find,

Only a truth that I’d long maligned

I felt trapped behind a revolving door,

The red light blinked, signaling my fallen floor

My tears shed more and more,

They cut right to my core

I reached for someone who wasn’t there,

Then what followed was something of pain,

My life’s film has been scorched by acid rain,

The family all chose me to blame,

Shadows whispering my every name

Would they notice if I never called back?

Hours will pass, and my apartment’s walls will crack

My body would grow cold,

Would someone come to confirm what’s already been told?

Their words soaked through my skin,

Exposed the war within

They said I’m weak, I let them win,

All my torture was apparently from sin

Somewhere deep in all that night,

A voice called out through the white

It told me that “it’s not permanent”, to hold on tight,

It meant more to me than he might realize tonight

In the meantime, I’ll count the days like leaves,

Until we can both be together and grieve

I can’t do anything drastic that I might perceive,

I know he’ll be waiting for me 

If I had known what I know now,

I’d do it all over again to say the same vow

I wouldn’t ask how,

Just us two, and let us be found

I had a thought,

That maybe this darkroom can be confined to me,

Will its crevices bleed, or can I patch them up with blind certainty?

For now, I’ll wait for him to come and break me free,

I promised him I’d never, ever leave