The One

- Rift: Part I - Poem XI -

I know,

That I’m better off all alone

Than loving someone who never gave enough,

Who, in hindsight, I knew I couldn’t trust

And I see now,

The red flags all around

How do you just shut off like that?

Your emotions, I just couldn’t track 

Forever changed, I know this love won’t leave,

For you, it seems like I was just a breeze

Didn’t I give enough, or did you just want more?

Were you addicted to the facade of keeping score?

Before I left, you took over,

Never gave me a choice, your path wasn’t slower

Addicted to the rush of guys online for free,

Their transactional nature will never give you what you got from me 

Said my feelings were too much,

You saw forever, so you messed it up 

But in a heartbeat, I’d go back to you prouder,

You might still be the one if you just try harder

Sometimes when I dream at night,

I can feel your body in the dim light

I just wish you were better to me,

I just wish your demons would set you free

Promised to get better, but then you spiraled,

You can still be the one, we can relight our fire

But I know,

I’ve always been so alone

And not keen on loving someone who gave me the wrong type of love,

Who, knowing now, wasn’t satisfied with my trust

And I know now,

The silence all around

How do you not care?

Was I a real thing or just a spare?

Forever scarred, I know this feeling won’t leave,

For you, it seems like you never even knew me

Did I give too much or did you want less?

Are you happier online with those who tell you to get undressed?

Before you left, I wasn’t told,

You discarded me like a wrapper, in the dark, cold

So I sit here and cry all day,

Wondering if you ever really loved where we lay

Said my love was too much, so you pushed me away,

Never answered, just silence woven in braids

But in a second, I’d go back to you immediately,

If you just listen to me and go to therapy

And sometimes when I’m awake at night,

I picture you next to me when I cry

I hope you’re doing better than me,

I pray that you remember us next to that tree

Promise me to get better, so I can love you,

And be the one, I was always led to 

And I hold on to those days,

Where we were happy

I treat them like chalices,

You can’t take that from me

But your silence now,

It makes me question if you’re ever around

Did you keep all the stuff I gave you?

Or did you pawn it for some money for your next boo?

But these days I miss you like I miss my friends,

How you love me so sweetly, I choose to believe I wasn’t a means to an end

You can still be the one to me,

If you just talk to me

You’re always gonna be the one,

‘Cause you were never just a one-and-done